Royal Passion
At 27, the daughter of His Majesty the Late King Hussein I of Jordan and Her
Majesty the late Queen Alia Al-Hussein of Jordan is a highly acclaimed
international rider and the only Arab woman to win a medal in equestrian at a
Pan Arab games.
She holds humanitarian aid and compassion for the underprivileged close to her
heart and is involved in a number of charitable projects in Jordan. It has been
almost a year since she shifted base to Paris striking a balance between her
career and royal commitments.
In an exclusive interview to the ME magazine, Princess Haya talks vividly about
her horses, her career as an international sportswomen, her childhood dreams and
her compassion for the people of her country.
Q: What is the inspiration behind your equestrian passion?
A: Horses have inspired and will inspire the rest of my life. They are my
soul, we share the same spirit. When I am on horse-back I feel as if I can truly
express myself, without trying. I feel I can communicate without words, it is
then that I am really myself. They are my only true form of expression. They
allow my heart to show me my way.
Q: Is there anything other than horse-riding that is dear to you ?
A: Horses are very much a part of me, like breathing. But the things I love
are very different! I love to dance; I love to sing as well, and draw. Art is
one of my favourite passions. I think I have nearly ten thousand paintings. I
really enjoy camping in the desert with my brothers at home. In Aqaba, me and my
brothers would go driving near old ship-wrecks and I thoroughly enjoy such
outings.
If I don’t work on some project at least once a day, I can’s sleep. My brain
just buzzes all night.
I started learning languages and that really helped. I love communicating with
people on their own terms. I guess horses taught me that. I can speak six
languages now. I also love to write. One of my dreams is to write a book about
my father. I was also considering Japanese but might do Marine Biology instead.
Last year I did a dolphin study course, where I swam with dolphins that were
being studied by marine biologists in their natural habitat for ten days. It was
the best thing ever!
Sitting still is the worst kind of torture for me. I love moving and exploring
and living; I hate routine. The thing that worst threatened my existence in
Europe was loneliness. I learned to live with that by doing as much as I can.
Q: What is your daily routine like?
A: I start the day at 6 a.m. and I run or swim for an hour. I prefer to swim
when my back is bad; otherwise, it’s just easier to run. By 7:30 a.m. I ride my
first horse. There is no real way to say how long I spend on each horse. I know
what work I need to achieve with them by the end of the week. I finish riding by
2 p.m. There is also 7 – 8 hours of pending paper-work after that. I have to
look at all the legalities of the team. Insurance of staff and horses,
paychecks, competition entries, transport to shows and accommodation.
Then there is the meeting with the vet and the blacksmith when I watch them
treat the competition horses. They give me a wealth of information about each
horse which makes the vital difference between winning and loosing. Details are
imperative at this level. Then I ride the four stallions. They are the main
income of the team, I run the team using them, they are active breeders.
The rest of the time, I work on promoting tourism in Jordan, and keeping my five
charities running in Jordan, mostly by fundraising. I am also working for
several worldwide movements doing consultancy work. The FEI, Child Abuse on the
Internet, UNESCO, World Sports Awards and the Olympic Aid involving refugee
programmes in the Middle East region are some of the main ones.
During the weekends, I have to compete, not every weekend, but we average about
35 international competitions a year.
Q: Have you met with any accidents during your career?
A: Plenty. I once rode a stallion with a very erratic history resulting from
an injury. It was almost after he had taken a year off from the sport. A girl
was holding him when I got on him; I had one foot in the stirrup to get on his
back when he ran over the girl. I was half on his back when he ran me next to a
truck that was parked in front of the stables and smashed my right leg against
the truck until I pulled my leg up, and once I had my leg up he threw me off his
back and actually tried to strike me in the head with his front leg. I was
really lucky that he threw me off next to the truck, because I rolled
underneath. I heard him kicking the front of the truck and watched the glass
from the headlights shattering as I lay under the truck. But I will never forget
the look in that horses eye when we caught him, he really meant to injure
someone.
The second time I was galloping really fast, and jumping against the clock, the
horse got the bars of the jump trapped between his front legs. My foot jammed in
one stirrup, and I was trapped on his back when he rolled. We must have rolled
head over heals five or six times. All, I saw was sky, then the ground, sky, and
then the ground, sky. And with each roll I tried to throw myself away, and when
I could not I got as close to him as I could, and all I could do was wait for
the sound of my spine or my pelvis to break. That was horrible. I feel sick
remembering that every time. Funny, but the speed we carried saved us both; we
stood up both in shock, and with cuts and bruises, but not much more. Everyone
watching said they were sure we would both be killed.
Q: Did the pressures from people overwhelm you initially?
A: I compete best under pressure placed on me by others, and the situation
that I am in. when things get tough, I am worth being watched. That’s when I am
my true self.
Q: Being a part of the Royal Family is a privilege. Do you agree?
A: To be honest, the idea that being a Royal has its advantages is a myth. I
am not speaking for myself, because my position is far easier than others who
are in positions of true responsibility. Royals and leaders are born into
positions to serve others not to be served. The glamour, mystery and fairytales
that go with the title are far from the reality of it. I have watched my family
through the years as they worried and agonized over the lives of the people that
make a nation. Trying constantly to do the right thing by improving the lives of
others leaves little room for breathing freely. I watched my father grow ten
years with every national tragedy, and watched his eyes glisten with pain when
any Jordanian citizen faced hardship. I watched my brother HM King Abdullah
steel his own pain and stand solid for the pain of a nation when my father died,
take no moment for himself to mourn and start work to help build before him. I
see them exhausted when they come home at night, never thinking of themselves,
and still worrying about others.
During my childhood, I needed and wanted for nothing. My father and brothers and
sisters showed me love, and protected me. And the people of Jordan are a great
people who treated me like they would the daughter of every house. But I remark
on your comment in general, the institution of Royalty is not the wondrous thing
you speak of. It is a golden cage of isolation, pain and terrible responsibility
that is rewarded only by the smiles and love of people. I am very proud of my
family for bearing that awesome responsibility with the dignity that they do.
Q: Who are the family members who have influenced your life?
A: My father. He was my King, father and mother, a brother and my best
friend. We could talk about anything and everything. Before my mother died, our
house had been full of laughter; I remember that was the thing that struck me
most after her death. The sound of laughter was gone; all you could hear was
people crying. My father looked after everyone, so I always tried to look after
him. It’s one of the strange things about great men, they are there for everyone
else and never demand anything for themselves. I remember waking up and laying
out the clothes, he should wear that day, and trying to make sure the food he
liked was cooked at meal times. And falling asleep on the stairs of our house
waiting for him to come home, and waking up to find him carrying me to bed, and
insisting to stay up and talk to him about his day. He was he sole focus of my
existence from the day my mother died; I miss him very much.
Q: What did your childhood dreams consist of?
A: I did not have any childhood dreams that were part of my conscious
reality as much as I remember having “wishes.” I remember clearly that I had
this reoccurring request from the Almighty; It was part of my every conscious
thought. I would always think and say to myself : “Please God let me die before
my father and my brother Ali”. That’s all ever asked for, after my mother died.
I do dream in the sense that I have a truly active imagination, but whenever I
think of something as a dream, I go for it. Nothing is impossible if you put
your mind to it in life; I truly believed that all the time, no matter who you
are. I did not waste as much time dreaming as I did, doing it. As soon as
something is about to be achieved it’s time to get going on the next! With that
belief, I was never obsessed with anything much, apart from the fact that I
could not affect the fate of the people I loved. That was my greatest fear, and
the thing that gripped my childhood. I just never wanted to live in the world
without either of them.
Q: Are there any turning points in your life that you consider as important
milestones?
A: There are no turning points in my life, I was always and am still heading
in the same direction, sometimes I take a diversion, and make a mistake, but I
don’t retrack, just look for the sun, and right myself. I stumble too and have
fallen often but I’ve always found a friendly hand and a kind smile to help me
on my way again. As for milestones, every day has been a milestone, every single
day. Life’s best lessons have come to me through pain. I don’t like to look back
at the pain and the shadows, only understand what they taught me. I can keep
looking forward that way. I am sorry to appear so illusive, and do not
intentionally try to be evasive, its truly the way I am and the way I live.
Q: Being part of a traditional culture – did you find that comforting or
constricting?
A: Tradition is not restrictive when you truly understand it, it is a
beautiful thing. I do not feel restricted, if I am advised not to do something I
know that it is because those close to me value and cherish my reputation. I am
my father’s daughter though and he brought me up clearly telling me what he
approved and disapproved of; no one knows better than I, what is respectable and
befitting of my culture and the traditions I represent. Ironically, I was aware
of them in my childhood, but the point in my life where they became a source of
pride and a creed was when I started my professional career in Europe. I
realized then that my traditional background was my identity, my strength and my
greatest security in every sense.
I am also 27 years old now, I grew up quite alone, and I survived. I don’t react
well to orders. I listen and believe I am reasonable and flexible but at this
point I have little time or patience for those who choose to exercise their ego
in my life. I don’t argue, I just walk away. I know that I can survive in any
situation, so I do what I believe in and I face the consequences with a smile.
Q: What did you believe in as a child?
A: The same things I believe in as an adult. The Almighty and the integral
goodness of humanity. If you ever stop believing in that then you start getting
old. For me age is not a thing that comes with the accumulation of years. Age
happens when people allow themselves to become embittered by life and
disillusioned by others. It’s easy to be disillusioned if you judge people, and
they don’t meet up to your expectations. But if you just accept that everyone is
sharing this world trying to survive the best way they can, then you don’t
become bitter or angry.
I held on tight to that all my life. I had ups and downs in my life that shook
me entirely, frightened me and hurt me, but they never scarred my soul, just my
heart. And hearts can heal, even if it seems they can’t at the time of pain.
Time is a great healer. Your soul gives you your imagination and allows you to
face anything; I am still a child in that sense. Fate has been kind to me.
Q: How prepared are you to face normal challenges in life?
A: Prepared? I was born enjoying them. I have never been a victim. I thrive
on challenges, I love them. Something would die in me if I had to look to a
future without no challenges. I told you before that I used to pray that I would
die before the people I loved. That does not scare me anymore, because I know
they are in a better place, and that they live still in a different form. I am
not fearful of death, and I have a very high threshold for physical pain. I
spent my whole life falling off one horse or another breaking this and that. You
learn to divorce your mind from your body when that happens. Most physical pain
is just the visual association. Emotional pain is harder. Loneliness is hardest
of all. Life has prepared me for its own challenges. I have often sought them
out myself, when I feel like not enough are coming my way! Challenges are only
to be born with dignity. That’s the part that you need to strive for, the
challenges themselves, they are the spice of life, the very reason to keep
living.
Family:
Q: We understand the great loss that you must have gone through after the
death of your mother. In what ways did this incident shape your views and
opinions on life?
A: It just made me grow up faster, much faster. I had to look after myself,
look after my little brother Ali, and I felt I had to look after my father,
although in essence he looked after us all! In many ways I experienced
motherhood that way without being a mother, Prince Ali was 2 months old when our
mother died. I tried to be his mother as best I could. I laugh at myself, even
understanding the pain of a mother, when I had to face the fact that my little
boy Prince Ali had grown up and now looking after me. I ask his permission to do
things now and trust his judgment when I do not trust my own. It makes me smile.
I feel old and young that way. When my mother died, there was just a terrible
void. I sometimes think I have been lucky, my mother has never grown old or
fought with me. She is only a beautiful angel in my mind frozen in time. My
father more than made up by giving me the love of two parents. I never knew a
mother’s touch though. I would have been a more complete person if I had had a
mother. But I can still look forward to that, by loving my own children more, if
God grants me that miracle.
Q: In terms of priority in which order would you place your family values,
tradition and social image?
A: I don’t have a rigid set of rules for life. The problem is that sweeping
generalities on how you should be and how you should live, don’t always apply to
your specific situation. Life presents individual situations every second, no
two are ever same. I just love my family, I know who I am, and what I represent
as a Muslim, Arab woman, and I deal with what comes my way, trying to understand
above all the implications of my actions on others.
You know how every child grows up and thinks they want to change the world and
make it a better place, and they believe they can if they just try? That’s my
priority, I never outgrew that. It’s worth it to see other people smile, no
matter how hard you have to try.
Self:
Q: Do you consider yourself to be a legend?
A: I am the daughter of two people who were legend. I am a normal human who
struggles everyday to find her balance, and makes plenty of mistakes. I am the
daughter of two legendary people though, whose lives and spirits were
exceptional, and whose death unites them once again in my heart. Me, I am just
Haya, and I can only do my best at that!
Q: Describe the three greatest moments in your life and the three worst
moments?
A: The worst moments of my life… how can you mourn one loss more than
another? My parents, my grandfather who died months before my father. But losses
like that, they are not moments, the moment is only the prospect of looking at a
future without them sharing your world, no they are not moments they are
lifetime. You can love people in different ways, so their loss is never
comparable, and their void can never be filled. But as I say that’s not a
moment, that’s a lifetime.
And the greatest moments in life…well they are yet to come, if they don’t come,
I will simply make them, after all, it’s my choice!
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